Early Pilot Review: Scoundrels

Most of the time, I endeavor to devote my articles to films and TV shows that I believe to be well worth watching. Today, however, I am presenting you with a warning: A warning to avoid this new program at all costs. Even if you must take your own life to do so.

This new program is called Scoundrels, and stars Virginia Madsen as the dull, unlikeable mother in a family of painfully low-level criminals (Comprised of five equally dull and unlikeable characters). In all honesty, there is no reason to watch this show. The characters are all poorly acted, and perhaps even more poorly written (If such a thing is possible).

Now, as you can see, I already have many significant problems with this show, but there is one problem that is even more substantial than those I have already mentioned: The pilot sets up a story that seems like it will be extremely boring. The father of the family gets a sentence of five years in prison, and the episode ends with the mother deciding that the family should cease to be criminals, and take the next exit onto the straight and narrow path of morality. Why would I want to watch a show about criminals who cease to be criminals? I'd much rather watch a show about the years leading up to the moment where the mother decides that it's time for a change.

Scoundrels is a horrible show, and should not be viewed by anyone. None of the humor works, so it can't be called a comedy, and the "dramatic" scenes fall completely flat, so it can't be called a drama, either. Be sure to set time aside on Sunday evening, so you can relish spending your time doing something much better with your life than watching the series premiere of Scoundrels.

1 Out of 4

Television Series Recommendation: Cobra

I was recently at a Fry's Electronics store with my friends and brothers, when one of my friends made an incredible discovery: There was a complete series of a TV show from 1993, called "Cobra" (it only ran 22 episodes), and it was on sale for only $8.99 plus tax. This is taken directly from the back of the case:

"Robert "Scandal" Jackson, Jr., is an ex-Navy SEAL who went A.W.O.L. after refusing to blow up an enemy command center housing civilians. He disappeared to the wilderness of Alaska, changing his name and appearance, and became a teacher in a small Inuit community. But a part of his past caught up to him and he was shot in the face, his comatose body left for dead. He awoke in the hospital three weeks later and found himself with a new face and a new chance at life, thanks to a woman named Danielle LaPoint.

Danielle offered him a job with "Cobra," an undercover anti-crime agency that provides justice for victims who haven't benefited from the system. Scandal is reluctant to leave his Alaskan life behind, but then her boss, Dallas, Cassel, makes him an offer he can't refuse: the chance to catch the man who murdered his father five years earlier. From behind the wheel of his classic AC Cobra, Scandal dispenses justice in the fictional Bay City."

Needless to say, my friend purchased the series. When we returned home, we watched the 2-part pilot immediately, as we were extremely eager to see the fictional Bay City, and experience the adventures of Robert "Scandal" Jackson, Jr.; we were not disappointed.

Everything about this series is entertaining. The early '90s music, the episode plots, and the dialogue are all absolutely hilarious. It also has perhaps the most amazing title sequence that I've ever had the pleasure of viewing. Observe:



If you're the kind of person who enjoys watching bad movies from time to time, while mocking them and pointing out their flaws, then "Cobra" is a show for you. Check it out; you will be entertained.

Movie Review: Iron Man 2

Two years after the original Iron Man was released, Tony Stark has finally made his return to the big screen. Can the movie live up to the excellent first film?

Let me get this out of the way at the beginning of this review: I am an enormous fan of the first Iron Man movie, so I'm sorry to say that the second film is poorly executed at times, and doesn't match the quality of the first film. That's not to say that the film isn't entertaining, though; I had a good time watching it, despite it's flaws.

What doesn't work about the movie? Well, the basic story isn't particularly compelling or interesting, and the villains have about as much character as a turkey sandwich. There are also several scenes which should have been eliminated the instant somebody read them in the script, the most prominent of which is a scene that takes place around 45 minutes into the film which was particularly cringe-inducing. Pretty much every problem rises from the script itself, and is not to be blamed on the director or actors. The executives stupidly decided to switch writers, and they payed the price, as the new ones tried to do too much in this movie, and thus took too much time away from the best thing about the Iron Man series: Tony Stark.

What works in the film? The dialogue is still mostly very strong and witty. The standout scenes remain to be the ones where Tony Stark is interacting with Pepper Potts, as their chemistry on screen is outstanding. Tony Stark is still a lot of fun to watch as well, and the acting is pretty much good all around. There are some good action sequences as well, but I honestly enjoyed the first film's actions sequences more, as they had more weight and drama behind them.

In the end, Iron Man 2 is a pretty good movie that has moments of greatness which shine through at times. Despite its flaws, it's still worth watching for Robert Downey Jr.'s excellent performance, and some good character moments. I can only hope that Iron Man 3 will be more consistent, and that it will recapture the brilliance of the first film.

2 1/2 out of 4

My Most Anticipated Films of 2010

Only one of the films that I've been really looking forward to this year has been released, and luckily, Kick-Ass was anything but a disappointment. But what other movies are coming up that show promise? Let's take a look at my most anticipated films of the year.

Iron Man 2

Let's face it: If you didn't like the original Iron Man film, you're pretty much a moron. So go away. I make a habit of not speaking to morons. Anyway, the first film was great, and the trailer for Iron Man 2 looks pretty awesome, so I'm really looking forward to it's release at the end of the week.

Inception

Christopher Nolan is easily one of the best directors working today. He has yet to make a bad film, and I seriously doubt that he'll start with Inception. Not very much is known about the plot, but I find it very refreshing that they're not giving away the whole story in the trailers for a change.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I actually haven't yet read any of the books (Ok, I've read the first 5-10 pages of the first one), but I plan to check them out sometime after the film is released. Edgar Wright, the brilliant director of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, has yet to associate himself with any film or television program that wasn't awesome, so I have high hopes for the film, which releases in August.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One

I really loved the book, and I hope that they'll be able to successfully translate everything well from the book onto the big screen.

Machete

This movie has the potential to be one of the most entertaining experiences that we will ever enjoy in our sad little lives. Check out the original trailer on Youtube. Just Google "Machete Trailer."

True Grit

I will watch anything that the Coen brothers write and direct. Why? Because they've made as many good films as Tiger Woods has banged women (Oooh, how topical of me). But forced pop culture references aside, the Coens are easily some of the best directors to have ever worked in Hollywood, and it's nearly always worth it to see any film that they direct.

Book Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Let me preface this review by giving you a brief history of my experience with the Harry Potter franchise. As of August of last year, I had not seen any of the Harry Potter films, nor had I read any of the books; that changed in the following month, when I used a wondrous invention (known as "Netflix") to rent the first film.

I had heard warnings that the first couple of movies weren't very good, but I found that to be untrue, as I enjoyed the first film very much, and made it a point to rent the second as soon as possible. Then the third. Then the fourth. Then the fifth. Before I knew it, I had watched all of the available films in around ten days. The sixth film had not yet been released on DVD, but was also not at any available theaters, so I had to wait until it was released in the nearby $1.50 theater, where I viewed it the day it began showing, and enjoyed it immensely. But I wanted more.

Many times, people will tell you that a series of books is better than the series of films that it spawns, and in many cases, that is the truth, so I decided to dive head-first into the books, and I bought a box-set of the first six. (They didn't have a box-set that contained all seven at the time) In the case of Harry Potter, it was true; the books were better. The films still stand up as being good and highly enjoyable, but the books bring much more detail to the world of Harry Potter. The stories are expanded, with more revelations and story-lines, as well as more of the wonderful characters, who are even more fleshed out in the novels.

If you have somehow managed to avoid the series for so long, as I did, I wholeheartedly recommend that you check out the series, whether in book or movie form.

I'd also like to preface this review by saying that I WILL NOT REVEAL ANY SPOILERS. So, let's get to the review.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

So, how would I describe this book? In a word: Excellent. The story is as good (if not better) as any other book of the series, and has much in store for the readers: Many questions that readers have had are answered, and there are several revelations in store that J.K. Rowling had planned from when she began writing the series.

The characters remain wonderful, and generally behave as we expect them to; nothing can ruin a character like the author not understanding the character that they are writing. Luckily for all of us, J.K. Rowling knows her characters, and writes them perfectly. With Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling really shows how good of a storyteller she is, and skillfully brings the series to a completely satisfying conclusion.

I know this review is short, but I really want to avoid spoilers. Just know this: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in an amazing end to a marvelous series. If you're a fan, I don't see how you could possibly be disappointed.

**** 4 out of 4