Early Pilot Review: Scoundrels

Most of the time, I endeavor to devote my articles to films and TV shows that I believe to be well worth watching. Today, however, I am presenting you with a warning: A warning to avoid this new program at all costs. Even if you must take your own life to do so.

This new program is called Scoundrels, and stars Virginia Madsen as the dull, unlikeable mother in a family of painfully low-level criminals (Comprised of five equally dull and unlikeable characters). In all honesty, there is no reason to watch this show. The characters are all poorly acted, and perhaps even more poorly written (If such a thing is possible).

Now, as you can see, I already have many significant problems with this show, but there is one problem that is even more substantial than those I have already mentioned: The pilot sets up a story that seems like it will be extremely boring. The father of the family gets a sentence of five years in prison, and the episode ends with the mother deciding that the family should cease to be criminals, and take the next exit onto the straight and narrow path of morality. Why would I want to watch a show about criminals who cease to be criminals? I'd much rather watch a show about the years leading up to the moment where the mother decides that it's time for a change.

Scoundrels is a horrible show, and should not be viewed by anyone. None of the humor works, so it can't be called a comedy, and the "dramatic" scenes fall completely flat, so it can't be called a drama, either. Be sure to set time aside on Sunday evening, so you can relish spending your time doing something much better with your life than watching the series premiere of Scoundrels.

1 Out of 4

Television Series Recommendation: Cobra

I was recently at a Fry's Electronics store with my friends and brothers, when one of my friends made an incredible discovery: There was a complete series of a TV show from 1993, called "Cobra" (it only ran 22 episodes), and it was on sale for only $8.99 plus tax. This is taken directly from the back of the case:

"Robert "Scandal" Jackson, Jr., is an ex-Navy SEAL who went A.W.O.L. after refusing to blow up an enemy command center housing civilians. He disappeared to the wilderness of Alaska, changing his name and appearance, and became a teacher in a small Inuit community. But a part of his past caught up to him and he was shot in the face, his comatose body left for dead. He awoke in the hospital three weeks later and found himself with a new face and a new chance at life, thanks to a woman named Danielle LaPoint.

Danielle offered him a job with "Cobra," an undercover anti-crime agency that provides justice for victims who haven't benefited from the system. Scandal is reluctant to leave his Alaskan life behind, but then her boss, Dallas, Cassel, makes him an offer he can't refuse: the chance to catch the man who murdered his father five years earlier. From behind the wheel of his classic AC Cobra, Scandal dispenses justice in the fictional Bay City."

Needless to say, my friend purchased the series. When we returned home, we watched the 2-part pilot immediately, as we were extremely eager to see the fictional Bay City, and experience the adventures of Robert "Scandal" Jackson, Jr.; we were not disappointed.

Everything about this series is entertaining. The early '90s music, the episode plots, and the dialogue are all absolutely hilarious. It also has perhaps the most amazing title sequence that I've ever had the pleasure of viewing. Observe:



If you're the kind of person who enjoys watching bad movies from time to time, while mocking them and pointing out their flaws, then "Cobra" is a show for you. Check it out; you will be entertained.